Monday, July 1, 2019

A Premature End...



"Your Mother has stopped accepting food and water.  Hospice has been called.  You'd better get back here."

That shocking news came when we were 4 weeks into a 5-week trip.  And it had been quite a whirlwind before I left early to fly home.  Let me tell you what it was like.  This will necessarily be a short blog post.

The trip began with a stop in Pennsylvania for my niece's college graduation.  (Click on any image to view larger) (and sharper).


Nothing like an establishing shot.  But I wasn't in the front row - I was about 37 rows back.  The RX-10 IV (with its 600mm lens) is now my "Graduation Cam".
Actor Pierce Bronson gave the commencement speech.  We were stirred, but not shaken.
Just a sports complex.  But the light was great!

Then to Amish country to spend a few days...





(Yes, I got permission before shooting these pictures...)
Then to New York City to celebrate my wife's 65th birthday.

Red boat strategically placed according to the Rule of Thirds.  That made a huge difference in the image's impact.
Let's see a smartphone do THIS! :-)  (The RX-10 IV is now also my "Statue of Liberty Cam".)
Blue Hour
Bluer Hour
In the world of stock photography, your image has to be different from everyone else's or else it doesn't sell. So I took a picture probably nobody else has taken. 

Group selfies with large-sensor cameras can suffer from an out-of-focus background when you really don't want it. :-(
Then we drove a truckful of furniture from Boston to Nova Scotia where we're in the process of renovating a 150-year-old house.  


Max Headroom 10' 6".  Truck height: 11' 0".  On this trip I learned never to use Google Maps when driving a large truck, for it has no idea you're driving a large truck.  It will happily steer you down every narrow side street just to shave 10 seconds off your trip, and knows not that your vehicle is too tall to fit under that bridge.   Later I learned about CoPilot GPS, a GPS app for truckers that costs $30/year.  Worth it.
Truck damage from the inside.  

Then back to Boston in time to cover the Pride parade.




My Mom on her 80th birthday.
Once I got the notice from my brothers I immediately flew home hoping to see her one last time.  She died about three hours before I got there.

We can't say her death was unexpected; after all she had not been well for over a decade.  But still, your life gets put on hold and there's been little time to grieve.  My brothers and I have been scrambling to work on funeral arrangements, contacting friends and family, and liquidating the house to help pay for the Alzheimer's care for my Dad.  It has been an emotionally intense time.

And of course NONE of the projects I had hoped to complete by now are even close to being done, including:
  • Updating the Sony A6400 book to include improvements with Firmware v2.
  • Converting the A6400 book to Kindle and other e-reader formats
  • Pushing the Spanish version of the A7 III book to production.
  • 3 more Youtube videos
  • Signup pages for upcoming seminars (including a recently-added one in Southern California on August 10-11, 2019.  See below for details)
I did manage to finish the Firmware v3 updates for the Sony A7 III and A7R III cameras while I was traveling.  You should have received these already if I knew about your purchase.  If not, send me your purchase receipt and I'll take care of you just as soon as I can.

Next Seminars

Here's what on the calendar:
  • Southern California - August 10-11, 2019 (New!)
  • Copenhagen - September 14-15, 2019
  • South Carolina - April 2020
  • St. Louis, Missouri - May 30-31, 2020
  • [Your city could be here - have your photo club get in touch with me.  I'll speak to your club for FREE!]
If any of these interest you, send me an email at Gary at Friedman Archives dot com and I'll provide more info.

I leave you now with a few choice pics of my Mom, Ruthanne Friedman:

A picture of my parents taken through a window.
I even licensed a shot of her for a website!
Surrounded by grandkids and great grandkids.  (2 more came into the picture since this was taken.)
"They were on sale!"
In the Great Room of the house I grew up in, which now sits empty, waiting to be sold.
My Dad may not remember what happened two hours ago, but he still plays a mean game of chess.  And despite the memory loss, he still mourns her passing every day.
Until next time...
Yours Truly, Gary Friedman

92 comments:

  1. Very sorry for your loss. Its a time to grieve and the hectic schedule we all live often prevents us from doing so. Take the time, and celebrate the special memories - you've plenty recorded, since you're a photographer! Make a photo book of those memories. You'll enjoy that in a year or two's time, and the process will also help you through this tough time.
    I'm going to do the same now..... my mom passed away in October 2017, and I've not stopped long enough to make that photobook!

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  2. Dear Gary,

    You are an inspiration! I will pray for your mom and your family.

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  3. my sincere condolences...

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  4. I have been enjoying your mailing list messages, always found of very interesting information, for many years now.

    I wish you all the strength and courage you can muster in these difficult times.

    Please let me offer you my most sincere condolences (and pardon my French English grammar).

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  5. God bless you. Lost both of mine a few years back. From time to time I will have something and think my Dad would be good to talk with about it then it hits me all over again. Praying you find peace. I know it's a hard time.

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  6. So sorry to hear about your mother.

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  7. Condolences.
    Sad to lose a mom. Mine died in March.
    Nice pux!

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  8. Condolences ... wishing only all the best to you and yours!

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  9. I‘m really sorry for your loss

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  10. Gary, I'm sorry for your loss. I've been reading your different Sony guides for sometime now and appreciate the work that you do.

    Take care.

    Mark

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  11. Gary, my condolences to you and your family on the loss of your mother. Barry

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  12. So sorry for your loss, Gary. Please accept my sincere condolences.

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  13. We know it will happen one day to those we care about but that knowledge doesn't make it any easier when it does. I'm sure she was every proud of her son Gary. Take care.

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  14. Hopefully, your mother is in a better place. Very sorry to hear about your loss.

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  15. Gary, my sincerest condolences for your loss. Great photos that you captured of your Mom. A treasure you captured for you and your family.

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  16. Gary, I stumbled into one of your blogs about 3 years ago and have been caught since. Thank you very much. I lost my Mom in 2011 and still find things to say to her. Best of luck in getting through it. Willie Nelson has a song about never getting over it, just getting through it. Thank you, again.

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  17. Gary, our thoughts are with you and your family.
    Dan & Gail

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  18. Sorry to hear of your loss, Gary.

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  19. Sincère condoléances, Gary, je vous souhaite force et courage dans cette épreuve

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  20. This is hard. I love your tribute in pictures which are great catptures over the years. Please let me know more details of your Aug 10-11 trip to Southern California. If you're doing a seminar I'd love to come along. The best to you, Tracey

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  21. Keep the great memories and please take all the time you need.

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  22. Keep the great memories and take all the time you need. Peace.

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  23. Condolences, Gary. Best wishes.

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  24. Sorry for your loss. Looking forward to your Copenhagen seminar. Let me know details about it asap.

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  25. My condolences, Gary. Thank you for the wonderful photos from your trip. Love your Cavalier King Charles.

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  26. Sorry for your loss. I don't know you nor your mother, but you definitely captured a happy life and a warm spirit. My condolences, take care.

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  27. My deepest sympathies on your loss. No matter how much you prepare for the death of a loved one, it is still very difficult. Having to deal with all the legal matters leaves so little time to grieve and heal. Thank you for opening up this part of you life to your followers. I am sure that there are a ton of others like me who have watched all of your videos, read all your works, and look forward to every email from you. We are not just your followers, we are your friends; and you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you for allowing us to share in your troubled times as well as you good times. God Bless.

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  28. Gary,

    Sorry to hear about your Mother. I just went through a tough time with my older brother who passed after a year long fight with cancer. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
    I see you went to Carlisle, Pa. for the Dickinson College graduation. I grew up there and hope you got a chance to photograph around the historic town while you were there. It had a lot of Civil War action there including a cannon ball hole in the front pillar of the courthouse from one of the many battles that took place there...

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  29. Sorry for your loss. In then end, no matter how normal we expect it, it always comes too early. Take all the time you need, I'm sure we'll see beautiful images when you are ready!

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  30. May her memory be for a blessing

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  31. Gary I am sorry for your loss. She was so fortunate to be surrounded by a loving family.

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  32. Dear Gary, my sincere condolences. It is important to take time with your family, now. Work comes later. All the best. Your enthusiasm for photography will not change, it just needs to wait a bit.

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  33. So sorry to hear about your loss, may she RIP! Prayers and thoughts from this.

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  34. So sorry for the loss of your mother Gary. You will have many fond memories supported by your great photo record. RIP.

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  35. Why do we think somehow that our parents are immortal ...? Take care Gary.

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  36. Dear Gary,my deepest sympathie for the loss of your mother.Best wishes to you and your family.

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  37. Thank you for sharing your story with us Gary, good to be with you family if not in time for your Mom. Phil in Australia!

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  38. Very sorry to hear of your loss. As others have said, there will be a time when you can remember your Mom without feeling the shock of your loss. And many thanks for your photos.

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  39. So sorry for the loss of your Mom and that Alzheimer's disease has stolen your Dad. I, too, lost my Dad to Alzheimer's and his passing could be viewed as a blessing. My 94-yr-old Mom is in good health, relatively speaking for her age, and her mind is sharp. I can't imagine life without her...and yet of course, that day will come.

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  40. Hi Gary,So Sorry for your loss

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  41. My sincerest condolences on the loss of your mom, she must have been a sweetheart.

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  42. Sorry to hear about the death of your mother. Though we are grown up, the death of our mother rips a huge hole into our lives. There really are no words to describe the loss.

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  43. So sorry to hear about your loss, Gary. Even when it's expected, it's never easy since the void will always be there. But she will always be with you, as will your father when he passes on. They are part of you and, through your memory, will always there at any time for you to visit with, even if their response is muted.

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  44. Gary - So sorry to hear about your Mother. It sounds as though she was a great lady and you have followed in her footsteps. I've just finished reading your excellent guide to the Sony RX100 VI which I have enjoyed and greatly benefited from. Because I have spent quite a lot of time during the last few days 'in your company' so to speak, I feel particularly sad for your situation.
    Best wishes, Jeremy

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  45. Toutes mes condoléances pour la perte de votre mère.
    Tous mes vœux vous accompagnent.

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  46. Very, very sorry to hear about the loss on your mother Gary.

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  47. Gary, I am so sorry to hear this graeat loss, I am near to you and your family....but keep alive this moment with your Mom's photos...


    Massimo

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  48. Very sorry about your loss. My sincere and deep condolences to all the familly.

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  49. Very sorry about your loss. My sincere and deep condolences to all the familly.

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  50. God Bless Gary, and our sincerest thoughts and wishes to you and your family.

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  51. Querido Gary. Mis más sinceras condolencias.

    Un fuerte abrazo,
    Ricard

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  52. My sincere condolences to you and your family. Your pictures an loving memories will help to ease your sorrow!

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  53. So very sorry for your loss.

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  54. Sorry to hear about your Mother. Wish you the best caring for your Father.

    We had similar experiences several years ago and did manage to cope fairly well. A really good MD who knows dementia, grief, and families helps.

    Keep up your excellent photo education work.

    Joe Sack

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  55. So far, losing my Mum has been the most difficult thing I have had to deal with in my life. I send you and your family my deepest sympathy.

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  56. So sorry to hear of your loss.

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  57. My heartfelt condolences in these sad days.
    Thank you very much for translating your Sony A7R manual into Spanish.
    I have the A7RM2 but I do not understand English ...

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  58. So sorry for your loss Gary. Such wonderful photos of your mother to be cherished always.Your mum and dad looked a lovely couple in that photo through the window.

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  59. So sorry to hear of your mom’s passing. You and all your family are in our thoughts and prayers
    Tom Ocheltree

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  60. Peace and faith be with you always. Watch for her, she has not left you..

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  61. Patrick CorriganJuly 3, 2019 at 10:40 PM

    My condolences, Gary.

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  62. It is always a sad time when someone passes but more painful when it is a loved one such as your Mother. Condolences to you and your family Gary.

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  63. Sincere condolences Gary.

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  64. I'm terribly sorry to hear. My deepest condolences.

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  65. I appreciate your sharing of this part of your life. I hope the sympathetic responses are of some help.

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  66. Sorry for your loss, Gary. Your photos of your Mum are wonderful. Rob, Australia.

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  67. Hi Gary I have always enjoyed your inspired writing. So sorry to hear of your loss. It's at times like this when we know what is really important in life. Wonderful that you have some great pictures to help you remmeber her by. God Bless you and all of your family.

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  68. Hi Gary
    So sorry to hear about your loss. Please accept my deepest condolences from your fellow Sony user from across the pond.

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  69. Sorry to hear about your loss Gary. My sincere condolences.

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  70. May her name be for a blessing.

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  71. Words cannot suffice to ameliorate the painful loss of a mom. But I do offer my sincere cndolences.

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  72. No need to apologize for the short blog. It's time to concentrate on your family and put the other stuff on hold for now. My condolences.

    (from a Canadian reader)

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  73. Gary, I lost my father on June 1st,2019 unexpectedly as his one remaining kidney failed and like you, I didn't make it to see him before he passed away. It been a rough July for me and I understand the loss you are feeling with your mother's death. I've lost both my parents now and it changes your life forever without them. Hang in there. --Gary Dean Mercer Clark

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  74. Gary
    I cannot believe that you took time to respond to my petty questions while this was going on. My condolences and, of course, my thanks.

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  75. Gary: Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your mom. I lost my mom almost nine years ago and not a day goes by that I do not think of her. Your mom is still with you -- in your head, your heart and your soul. :( JK27

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  76. Sincere condolences to you and your family. I too lost my Mum while away on holidays a few years ago...I feel your pain. Take your time to grieve...and it does take time...we can wait as long as it takes for your help and inspiration. Spend quality time with your Dad...he may not remember your visit but he will remember how you make him feel.

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  77. Dear Gary - of course it it the order of things that parents pass on, but that doesn't make the passing any less sad. My condolences to you and your broader family.

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  78. With deepest sympathies on your mother's passing.

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  79. Hi Gary,
    First my condolences for you loss. Death of a loved one is never easy, expected or not and at our age we know death is all too imminent. I just had a friend and ex-brother-in-law pass who is my same age.

    For some reason, your blog notifications are not coming timely. I will have to check it out on my end then get back to you if I can't figure it out.

    I see you plan to be in St. Louis May 2020. I live in Indianapolis, IN just might be able to make that event. Can you send me some info if available so I can put on my calendar, please?

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  80. So sorry for your loss Gary.

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  81. Gary, I was sorry to hear of your mom's passing. I will will keep your family in my thoughts.

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  82. Gary, my condolences to you and your family. I have been a Minolta fan since my XD11 days back in the late '70's. I still have that wonderful camera and many more in my Minolta collection.

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  83. Beautiful tribute to your parents . . .

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